How To Trade Political Uncertainty

Well, if you haven’t been burn’t already, by our beloved “Politicians” and the shit that the spit on newswires, don’t get too cocky; cause sooner or later, you will get your ass handed to you on a Copper Platter, by the artificial Fuckery and Volatility that the Politicians insert in the Financial Markets. It is unclear if these same Politicians trade the markets from bogus accounts, but it sure seems like a legitimate possibility. Fuck That.

Though you cannot completely eliminate Political Uncertainty from the business of Trading, in this post, I’ll show you how you can at least protect yourself from getting caught in the cross-fire between the Republicans and Democrats, or whatever parties are prevalent in the Region/Nation that you reside in.

From my experience, all Political events and the impact that they have on the Financial Markets, follow a certain set pattern:

1) At the start or half-way through the Political Event (Uncertainty), the markets always Sell-Off. This is the time when reps from both parties constantly run around every TV media outlet that there is, and create a false sense of urgency. “My way or the highway.” The Apocalyptic shit. Hence, during these times, it is very important that your eyes are constantly glued to you TV (News) or computer screens, because you never know WTF a Politician might say next, thus catching you off-guard and resulting in your account being completely wiped-out.

2) After the markets have sold-off consistently for 2 or more days, by 1% or more, that is when you jump in and take the contrarian approach, and start BUYING the dips. This is because the Politicians answer to a higher authority, and NO, not the President or GOD, but Wall Street. Once the markets start dropping, the Politicians start shitting their pants, and fold like a cheap tin-foil.

3) If you are one of those weak-hearted constantly checking you Blood-Pressure kinda Trader, I recommend you not Trade and try to out-smart the market during these uncertain times. Go take a hike, or binge on Breaking Bad.

In Conclusion, I’ll just say this:

The Bulls Make Money. The Bears Make Money. Muppets Get Slaughtered.

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